Hosting the Wake
A wake or a time in which family and friends can come together either before or after a funeral, is a chance for many people to draw or offer support as needed. When this gathering occurs immediately after a funeral it may also be called a Reception or Funeral Tea regardless of whether or not it is a formal event.
Hosting the Wake after a Funeral
If the wake is to continue after a funeral there should be a designated location for the gathering and this information should be communicated either generally to all who are in attendance, such as through an announcement after the service or at the graveside, or discreetly to only those family and friends who would benefit from the event. If this is the case, a more general announcement that there will not be an open reception may be appropriate. Simply thanking everyone for attending and advising them that the family will need to be alone should be fine.
Depending on the anticipated size of the wake, the location is important. Make sure that there is enough room for everyone to circulate freely and enough seats for those who will need them. Food and drink are usually served at wakes, though by no means does it need to be fancy. A few platters from a local supermarket or even a buffet with contributions from several family members should be fine. Any pictures or mementos that were displayed at the funeral home or during the funeral can be displayed during this time as well.
Emotions often run high at wakes, so limiting the amount of alcohol served may be advisable. Several family members should also be on guard to watch out for particularly emotional guests or what may be the beginning of an argument. People do things while they are grieving that they might never do otherwise, so do not be shocked if something out of the ordinary does occur.
Hosting the wake will never be a fun task, but it can be made bearable if the funeral home and family pitch in. Wakes should be tailored to honour the deceased, so anything that (s)he would have approved of – and that is allowed in public buildings or private homes – may be included.